She stood in the kitchen looking out the back window at her garden
and asked how often do you think about our history and what it means to be American
standing knee deep in the blood of other folks
the insanity of slavery and how it coats your insides with horror
Now you peep around
looking over your shoulder and pretend
Nah that was a long time ago
That wasnÄôt me
Surely girl we donÄôt have to go there again
We know yeah we know
but here we are waist deep in the blood of the people who were native to this place looking wild n crazy
full of anger and hate calling it Äúmanifest destinyÄù
Making logic some easy way to fit it all into something manageable
that doesnÄôt wake you up at night
cause the chasm of fear is just too deep and too wide
and historyÄôs laid a foundation of uh huh and yes master
and still waters run deep
and the earth air and seas are polluted with the rape of it all
She said I guess I think too much
How can I not
waking up thinking about Emmett Till
ItÄôs claimed that Northern Negro child whistled at that white woman
and for that they came for his 14 year old self late in the night
They beat and gouged and put a 75-pound fan around his neck
and threw him into the Tallahatchie river
What kind of cruelty
what kind of desperate love for the old ways is that
She says I canÄôt think this out my system
and I look to my daughters
sometimes I hold them to me
trying to reach inside and cover them with my heart and need and love
trying to push all this inside them so they know
so they see
so they can stand strong
because I remember when a black woman couldnÄôt hold her babies for long
before she had to go back to the fields
she couldnÄôt count on them being hers
couldnÄôt allow her to love
because as a slave she had no say
so here we are and IÄôm thinking about history
and weÄôre neck deep in someone elseÄôs blood
mad n sad and scrambling for more of everything
cause were Americans
This isnÄôt a John Wayne movie
Might donÄôt make right
Our history has left us deranged and weak
and we look to leaders who like Pilate long ago turned their heads
Abu Graib
Iraq
Weapons of mass destruction
WeÄôre a host to some dangerous desires
Were some desperate people sending children to foreign soil to die?
claiming weÄôre protecting democracy
Strange days indeed
where some Christian pickets an actorÄôs funeral for portraying a homosexual
and we elect another actor who played a crazed killer android to office
Try a little tenderness
Wrap your arms around someone and hold on
Look for love
WasnÄôt our first instruction to Äúdo unto others as we would have them do to usÄù
ÄúWell Lucie you got some splainin to doÄù
Where we going to find redemption
surely not in history
How do you trace your way back
get up in the morning and drink your first cup of coffee without weeping.
How do you look in the mirror and see a face you can recognize
without seeing all those others you donÄôt
She said this is bigger than you and me
One person canÄôt hold this kind of horror
and here you are with-child and IÄôm lost in the past.
Girl youÄôre blest bringing life into the world
now your mamaÄôs not crazy
SheÄôs just wondering and historyÄôs tales will make you blue to the bone

































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