Listen & Be Heard Weekly Archives

In the area of desire, there always seem to be associated taboos, certain foods, alcohol and drugs, sexual experiences come to mind as some of the most obvious. Most of us associate the word ‘taboo’ with what is off-limits due to some sort of moral juncture. In short, it’s “bad”, or it’s bad to want it. Interestingly, the word originally was used to describe a prohibition “excluding something from use, approach or mention due to it’s sacred and inviolable nature.” (The American Heritage Dictionary) Hmmmm. Taboos as sacred? Why would we designate anything of tremendous value and importance as forbidden? And why is it that the things that we consider ‘off-limits’ often take on an added attraction because they are so? While I’m not prepared to answer these questions, they do point to the complexity of the issues of longing and desire. If fulfilling our longings and desires were as simple as reaching for that drink, or downing a pint of ice cream, or even having that affair or sexual fling, there wouldn’t be such a thing as addiction, or a 12-step program, or therapy. There would be no excessive indulging if simply partaking of our desires were enough. But, so often, as they say, “once is not enough”.

Here in the West, the answer to “excessive? desires is to practice moderation and self-control. ?Don’t think about it,? we are advised. ?Just do it.? Not so in other parts of the world, however. Eastern cultures challenge us to see our desires as an intrinsic expression of our need, our drive, some might say, to become more of who we are, to become whole. Traditional Chinese medicine and Ayurveda (traditional East Indian medicine) recognize this wholeness in the language they use to describe the body. Ayurveda, for instance, describes fat not just by its physical/mechanical function, but by the way in which fat serves the overall health of the individual. ‘Sneha’, the Sanskrit word for fat, actually means ‘lavish love’. According to Ayurveda, fat, along with the physiological role that it plays, serves to contribute to a larger, equally necessary, sense of emotional and psychological well-being.

The Ayurvedic point of view puts an interesting spin on the American obsession with fats, ?good fats,? ?bad fats,? transfats, margarine vs. butter, saturated vs. unsaturated vs. polyunsaturated. The information often changes from year to year with additions to both categories of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ fat. We as a culture, and this includes mainstream medicine, just can’t seem to settle, health wise, on what is okay in the fat department. Ayurveda, as an example of holistic,’ mind/body” medicine gives us a deeper read on this issue by inviting us to see that our struggles with fat (wanting it in our food, ambivalence when it shows up in our bodies, judgment and discrimination of those who are fat or obese), may be a symptom of our struggles with desiring lavish love or abundance. And who of us feels that our lives are abundant? There are those moments that we all experience. But the statistics are that more and more Americans are working longer hours yet struggling increasingly to pay bills and afford the accoutrements of the “good life,” owning a home, raising children, taking vacations, saving for retirement, etc. Most people work jobs which are not intrinsically satisfying ,yet which become tolerable because of the lifestyle that they afford. However, as this equation erodes, people will continue to look for ways to satisfy their ‘intrinsic’ need for abundance. Indulging in food, fat and ‘taboo’ cravings can give us that delicious sense of completeness, of lavish love, if only momentarily.

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